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January 14, 2003:
Rachel
Hope everyone is well. Well the
new year has started out some what bumpy. I've been dealing with
several issues in my personal life. But I have faith in God.
I think that sometimes we go though hard times as a way to help
develop our selves in the Lord. Or perhaps just to grow stronger
in Him.
Anyways, the weekend was nice. The
cooler temperatures were a blessing. (All though I could have done
with out the rain) I had a great Lord's day on Sunday and enjoyed
going to church and getting my batteries recharged. (in other
words getting spiritually fed) On my way to the evening service on
Sunday, I went and walked around the mall. If anyone knows anything
about the La Plaza Mall in McAllen, they know it's ALWAYS BUSY.
I had a job trying to find a parking place. (gee I thought Christmas
was over) Anyhow, I finally found one and went inside. I walked
around, killing time before the evening service. After several
minutes of walking, I came across this display where this man had
names and under the names it had a few words describing the name.
He was selling this. You could get the name, with the
description of the name, set to a pretty background, and laminated.
It was really cool and they were suitable for framing. So I
decided to see if I could find one with the name "Rachel" on it.
I couldn't. So I asked him and he said that he did have one for
Rachel and that he could print out a sample so I could read it.
As I read, I couldn't help but think of Rachel, as it described her
perfectly. I became misty eyed as I finished reading it.
The guy must have thought I was a little loopy, getting all choked up
and stuff. So I decided to purchase it. I picked out a beautiful
background, and he had it printed out, on the background I wanted.
I paid for it and went to church.
Monday, I decided I'd get a pretty frame
for it and frame it and hang it on my wall, to remind me of Rachel.
I took it one step more to specialize it. I added some pictures
to it. So in closing, I will leave you with this beautiful
frame. You may view it by clicking the name Rachel below this
paragraph. May the words bless you and remind you of a
special young girl that has touched the world with her legacy!
R A C H E L
January 4, 2003:
Happy New Years
Wow, the holidays have come and gone.
I had a great time in December. I don't know where to begin.
December was such a blessed month. Early part of December was
the Christmas pageant at my church. What an incredible blessing
that was. I attended the pageant several times. God opened
several doors of opportunity during this event and I praise God for
that. Mid December, I was off to Oklahoma for several days,.
I attended my nieces and nephews Christmas play at their church.
It was really cool. After spending several days in Oklahoma, I
was back again in the valley, and shortly after that, my family from
Oklahoma came down to visit and spend new years with us. What an
incredible blessing, I have such a awesome family and am thankful to
the Lord for them. To the left is a picture of me and my niece
Debra.
 I
can't believe 2002 is gone. What an incredible year it was.
God has opened so much for me and I have grown so incredibly much in
Him. I am so incredibly thankful to Him for giving me a second
chance, and also for bringing Rachel and her amazing story into my
life, and being a part of her dream. I am incredibly excited
about what God has planed for me for 2003. I see an exciting
year ahead of me and I rejoice in that. I give this year to God
and pray that it'll be a blessed year, and that many new and exciting
opportunities will present them selves.
One thing that I am excited about and looking forward to is my next
trip to Littleton Colorado. This will happen most likely in May.
I changed my original plans of April, because I am going to Oklahoma
in May for Debra's birthday party, and then go to Colorado. I
plan on staying a week. This will give me the chance to go and
visit places I didn't get to go to during my previous visit in Sept
02. And most importunely I'll get to visit Rachel, and just
spend time with her and God. I really think this will be yet
another amazing trip. I will have a journal dedicated to this
trip as well. I look forward to sharing with you my experience
during this trip.
Anyways, I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new years and I pray
that this will be a great year for you. I want to extended a
warm and humble thank you for all the visitors of this site. I
pray that the site has blessed and touched your heart and will
continue as the site enters 2003. God bless you all!
December 2, 2002:
Holidays
Hope everyone had a wonderful
thanksgiving. I was away for all of last week, visiting family
in Oklahoma. It was fun. I really enjoy going to Oklahoma.
I haven't written much, I guess I haven't been in the writing mood
lately. I'm still planning things for my trip to Littleton in
2003. I possibly might end up going in March. Anyways,
hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. I will leave you
all with a picture of me and my nieces, Debra (to the left) and
Samantha (to the right) taken during thanksgiving. God bless!
November 9, 2002:
Littleton Trip April 03
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I have decided to pull
a all nighter. It is 8:25 in the AM and I have still not gone to
sleep. Don't know why, my sleep pattern has really been weird.
Anyways, I decided to do a short entry. I am very excited to
announce that plans for another trip to Littleton Colorado in April of
2003 are underway. My tentative dates will be from April 18,
though April 28 of 2003. My birthday also falls on the 19, so I
will celebrate my birthday in Colorado. I am looking forward to
seeing all my friends. Michael, Nina, Charlotte, Val, and the
rest of the ministry team. I decided to stay a full
week, one because I have my spring break/easter break that week, and
two, I just wanted time to get away, spend time visiting Rachel at her
grave, visit the places and do some of the things I didn't get to do
on my first trip due to time, and just have a overall blessed time in
the Lord. So that's the plan, it's still far off, but like my
trip in Sept, I will pour my heart out on these pages. Thanks
for taking the time to read all I have written. It is my prayer
that something I write with in these pages will bless your life.
God bless!
November 6, 2002:
Gaby
  Rachel
has been my inspiration, and someone whom I look up to for a spiritual
boost when I'm down. Though her life and legacy, God used her
story to re dedicate my life to God. My journal entry deals with
another girl, whom is so much like Rachel. In a way, she was my
Rachel of my High School. Her name is Gaby de la Cruz and I'd
like to share with you her, and how she was such a influence in my
life just like Rachel is. It was Rachel's powerful life
and testimony that brought me to me knees in tears that shook the core
of my being, but it was Gaby whom though her life and the way she let
Jesus shine though her, influenced me to the point of turning and
completely surrendering my life to God during my Sr year of high
school in 1994.
Before I talk about
Gaby, I'd like to give you a little background on what High School was
like for me. Much like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two
kids whom took the lives of 13 people plus their own, I too was a
outcast like them and was contently picked on. Recently I've
been thinking about Columbine, and going over all that had happened, I
couldn't help but to think about my own high school days.
My memories of high school include being picked on, being called names
such as chino which means Chinese in Spanish (lots of the students
were Hispanic), because of my ethnical background. I am part Pilipino
there for I have certain Pilipino features. This really shattered
my self esteem. Kids would push me
around, and say bad things to me. PE would always be a nightmare for
me, because they'd constantly harass me and pick on me. Things such
as getting my book bag thrown or hidden was not uncommon. Getting a
swift punch on the shoulder was not uncommon. Taking my cloths and PE
bag and throwing it in the garbage or hiding it, was not uncommon.
Going to school began to be a really unpleasant experience. As I got
into my sophomore, and junior years, I began to turn to music as a
means of release. I would listen heavy metal and death metal bands,
and there was a release though this music. I almost felt power
as I listened to this stuff. This power that I felt was a steady
hate that was being built up inside of me. It even got to the
point where I disliked Christians very much. And if you've read
my testimony you will also know that I dabbled in the occult and
Satanism.
You probably think I had
gone to a public school, right? Nope, wrong!! I was in a
private school. The school's name at the time was Valley Baptist
Academy. Of all places, a CHRISTIAN institution, yet
there was still hazing and I guess kids were just being kids.
Bullying and kids being picked on don't just happen in public schools.
Now I don't want to degrade this school in anyway, it really is a
wonderful school, and it's taught me the basics of life, which is
JESUS CHRIST. Even though it was labeled a "Christian School,"
you can't change the hearts of kids who want to be bullies. Only
God can do that. I am proud of this high school and as a alumni
I support it with all my heart, soul and prayers. I believe God
allowed me to go though this, in order to ultimately bring me to Him.
We don't always understand His ways and why we go though things we do, for His thoughts and ways are not
ours.
So as I went though my
high school years, there was also a handful of devoted Christians.
They WALKED their talk. And I noticed that. There
was a light that shined very brightly though them. There was a
glow about them, they were difference in their lives and I wanted that. The one
girl whom shined the brightest was Gaby. She is from the
beautiful boarder town in Mexico called Reynosa. She started out at the
school as a ESL (English as a Second Language) student, and from there
went into the grades. She was actively involved in the various
Christian groups that the school offered. She excelled in her
schooling and in her walk with God. I remember she liked to do
mime performances. I can't remember if she ever did any of the
songs Rachel did, but I do remember her and others miming from time to
time during our weekly chapel service and at special events.
There was a joy about her, and I wanted it so much. I observed
her during my Jr. and Sr. years. There was such a peace about
her. I longed for that. I wanted the light she had. As I
observed her and the other Christians at my school and the way they
lived their lives, my heart slowly began to soften and open up
to God's love and message that the school constantly would share with
their students over and over again.
I never talked to Gaby
much because I was always very shy. Toward the end of our Sr.
year I slowly began to talk to her more. During that
year, though various events that all lead to one big decision, I
excepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. I did this though
tears, in the quiet of my room one evening in May of 1994. I will
never forget the following day. We were in study hall, and I had
walked up to Gaby's table and sat down. I looked into her eyes
and I told her about the decision I made. I remember her smile
as I told her. I don't remember our exact conversation but it
was the first time I really talked to her. I think I had said
thanks for being a influence in my decision to except Jesus. I do
remember thanking her in my high school year book. (Which I quote
at the end of this entry) A lot of
people made fun of me because they thought I did this to impress her
because I had a crush on her. The part about having a crush on
her, yes was true, but the part about impressing her, was false.
What I said in my year book, was my sincere and honest heart.
Gaby is very dear to me,
just like Rachel and she will always have a special place in my heart.
We did keep in contact for the first few years after we graduated,
however we ended up losing contact with each other. Last I
heard, she was happily married.
So as Christians, let
Jesus shine though you. Show the world that God is in your life.
Just like Rachel and Gaby and Melissa (from my pervious entry), let your light shine so brightly that
people's heads will turn and they will question themselves, and ask
"what is it about this person that is different?" My whole
purpose for this entry is to encourage you to live for God and follow
His will. Because you never know who is watching, and WHO
you may influence. Your silent witness may just be the
seeds that are planted in their hearts that will eventually lead to a
full blown decision to follow Jesus. So I encourage you let your
light shine!!
And in closing, to Gaby,
if by some chance you ever stumble across this page, I just want to
say, thank you with
all my heart and soul for letting your light SHINE while we were
students at Valley Baptist Academy. I will forever be grateful
and thankful to you for being such an influence in my life back then.
May God bless you in all that you do. You will always have
a friend in me.
Remember... Friends are friends for ever, if the Lord's the
Lord of them!!
Till next entry... God
bless and thanks for reading.
My
year book entry - Seniors 1994
I would first like to thank God for the many blessings He has given
me. Second I would like to thank my parents for always sticking
by my side and being there for me when I needed them. I love you
both so much. Third, I would like to thank Chule, Juan, Rick,
Bryan, and all my friends for the laughs and good times we've had
together. You know who you are. Last but defiantly not
least, I would like to thank Gaby de la Cruz for helping me realize
and open my heart to God's truth and love. You are a very special
person in my life and I will always hold you in my heart. I am
going to miss you all so much. God bless each and everyone of
you. In His Love - Michael Santos '94
Valley
Baptist Academy - Visit where I went to High School.
My Testimony
- My full story on how God has changed my life.
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